Why You Should Consider a First Look on Your Wedding Day
A Modern Tradition with Timeless Results
If you’re planning your wedding and wondering whether a “first look” is right for you, you’re not alone. The decision to see each other before the ceremony is deeply personal — and often met with strong opinions from family, tradition, or Pinterest boards. I’ve photographed several weddings, and there is no one-size fits all. Whether you choose to do a first look or not, don’t be pressured to do something that isn’t a good fit for you. If you’re on the fence there are some really beautiful benefits to having a first look. From nerves to spending more time together on your wedding day, there are countless reasons why a first look might be perfect for your wedding day.
What Is a First Look?
A first look is a private (or semi-private) moment where the couple sees each other before the ceremony. It’s typically planned intentionally in the timeline, often in a beautiful, quiet location — away from the eyes of guests and the bustle of the day.
This moment can include reading letters, exchanging gifts, praying together, or simply holding each other. It’s flexible, deeply emotional, and completely customizable.
1. An Intimate Moment Just for the Two of You
Weddings are beautiful, but they’re also full. Full of guests. Full of timelines. Full of emotion. A first look gives you space to connect before stepping into the rest of the day — just the two of you.
Many couples say this is the only moment all day where they feel fully present with each other.
You get to breathe. To laugh. To cry. To take it all in before it becomes a whirlwind.
(Note: I’ve seen couples go from nervous to grounded in just seconds after seeing each other. That shift can change the entire tone of the day and the look of your photos.)
2. More Photos, Less Pressure
Choosing a first look allows for far more flexibility with your photography timeline — especially for couples who want extensive portraits or multiple locations.
Here’s what it unlocks:
More time for romantic portraits in ideal light
Bridal party photos before the ceremony
Family portraits earlier in the day, while everyone is fresh (this is super helpful for little kids attending)
You can enjoy your cocktail hour and greet your guests
3. It Doesn’t Take Away the “Aisle Moment”
One of the biggest myths about first looks is that it “ruins” the moment when the groom sees the bride walking down the aisle.
From my experience, both personally and professionally, I’ve found the opposite to be true. Personally, when Matt and I had our first look, it helped us with our nerves, we got to spend our whole wedding day together, and exchange gifts alone. We weren’t emotional during our first look, just nervous and giggled a lot. Fast forward to me walking down the aisle and we were both a mess. It felt like we got the best of both worlds.
Because the first look can often be intimate and emotional, the ceremony becomes even more meaningful. You’re no longer worried about your partner’s reaction — you know how they feel. You both were able to tell each other what you thought about each other’s wedding day fits, how you’re feeling, etc. Now you get to walk toward each other in front of your loved ones with total peace and joy.
Many of my grooms cry twice — once during the first look, and again at the altar.
4. A Calming Presence Before the Vows
If you tend to feel anxious or emotional before big events, a first look can be a grounding, calming experience. Your person is your safe place — and seeing them before all the guests arrive helps you center. This is also a beautiful time to incorporate a prayer or communion.
5. Beautiful Storytelling in Your Final Gallery
My biggest note for first looks is that if you have a ceremony later in the day, without a first look you lose the opportunity to spend the majority of your wedding day together. From a photographer’s perspective, first looks can add richness and emotional depth to your final wedding gallery.
You’ll get:
A story arc that starts before the ceremony
A more relaxed portrait experience
Reactions, close-ups, and movement that can’t be replicated later
Candid moments that balance the posed ones
It makes your album feel more like a story — not just a sequence of events.
Alternatives to a First Look (That Still Create Intimacy)
If you love the idea of a quiet moment, but want to preserve the tradition of seeing each other at the aisle, you could have a first touch which is standing back-to-back or on either side of a door to pray or exchange letters without seeing each other. You could still have a private vow exchange this way to share personal vows earlier in the day without an audience.
Choose What Honors Your Story
Here’s the thing, the best wedding timelines are the ones that serve you. If a first look allows you to connect, feel present, and truly enjoy your day, it’s worth considering. You only get this day once — and I want you to experience it as fully as possible.
And if you’re unsure, I’m here to help. As your wedding photographer, I help craft timelines that balance beauty, emotion, and flow — whether you choose a first look or not.
